Self-consciousness…. It’s something that we’ve all struggled with at one time or another, no matter what gender we are, or what age. What’s the worst part about it? Well, probably the fact that 9 times out of 10, people don’t even notice. Being self-conscious without telling anyone will put you in a position of insecurity with no one to lean on. Insecurity is something I’ve found to be a very personal issue that you will tend to want to deal with on your own as it’s sometimes embarrassing to admit that we actually are self-conscious. And if people actually do notice, they don’t automatically think, “Hmm… that person looks uncomfortable, maybe I’ll go say hi and give them a boost of confidence.” Nope. Instead, a lot of people tend to judge you, regardless of if they know you or not.
It’s all well and fine to say haters gonna hate, but c’mon, being hated isn’t a nice feeling, regardless of who is judging you. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to look insecure or strange, I want people to like me. It makes me feel good on the inside, accepted, warm, and loved when people like me, but not everyone does, and that’s hard. I like to think that a lot of people like me, but there will be people in this world that will reject me and that is a hard thing to accept. If someone tells you to just stop caring about what anyone thinks, it’s valid advice, but everyone knows it’s not that easy.
Where do you draw the line between self-consciousness and making an honest effort to look nice for the occasion? No one has all the answers, but I can tell you one thing; you need to stop worrying so much. I don’t wear nice clothes to my grandparents anniversary just because I want to fit in, I want to show them that I’ve made an effort, that I want to be there, and I want to show them that I love them enough to take the time to get dressed up. But even then, you can constantly look around, sweating and worrying that your lipstick is smudged on your teeth, or that someone noticed those flyaway hairs you just couldn’t tame. If you don’t stop it, self-consciousness will eat you up on the inside, robbing you of the happiness of the moment.
Some things to think about and act on:
- Throw out all the clothes or items that don’t reflect you and your personality or that make you overly insecure.
- Start wearing a little less makeup every single day, and instead, be comfortable in your own skin
- Forget about the latest trends, wear what you like, even if it is that crazy sweater Aunt Jean knitted you. If you like it, what are others gonna do?
- Give a kind word
- Be the confident you that is in there somewhere
- And SMILE!
People will start to notice the difference. Some people may hate it and some people may love it, but hey, if you’re happy, then what does their opinion matter? Find friends that love the real you, not the fake mask you were wearing. Smile, and enjoy the moment. Make some memories, and look good doing it. You read a lot of things on the internet about self-consciousness, and I saw a quote that said something about how people are so busy worrying about how they look and how they think people are perceiving them, that they won’t take the time to intensively study how you look (sorry for the cold hard truth).
“A flower does not think about competing with the flower next to it, it simply blooms.”